tootiiee tootiie..

2009-08-15T23:20:00.000+08:00

happy early birthday brother leong..
late for fish n co, but did manage to watch him suffer under the hands of fish co crew haha :)

ben n jerry for vermonster :) 2 vermonster is seriously no joke mann.. -.-
loads of ice cream..wanted to attempt vermonster challenge but idea was abandoned..

shoppping spree after bj..to orchard ion and got tops :)) happy tch :))
saw blazer that i like.. but still considering if i shld get it here or over at US :(
kevin say i shld get polos at US, dumb tch nv think of it.. and i think my collection of polo tees are growing..

i want to go shopping again..i wanna get that coat :)) shopping buddy anyone :))

nsa was a breeze, i shld be able to pass, i hope..

dont act in front of me, cos i can see you lying through your teeth..
the idea has nv cross my mind, this person is just a very close buddy of mine and i appreciate this person as a buddy who i can pour my sorrows in..the more you try to cover, the more i feel annoyed and i feel disgusted by your actions..

i need a pair of listening ears..

2009-08-11T23:01:00.001+08:00

fucking sad..
hamstring was tight to the max while warming up..didnt bother much..but 50m after the gun fired, hamstring pulled, leaving me with the last position... pushed all the way to the finishing line..and all i knew was fuck, pulled hamstring...DAMN SAD, FUCKING SAD CANN!!!!

but still, thanks to my dear girls who are there to help me and WANYIN, thanks for icing and RUI, thanks for ur shirt :))) thanks everyone :)

i wasnt in the mood anymore, very very sad and yes damn painful..tears was on the verge alr..of course, didnt manage a podium place..
if only i warmed up properly, if only i stretched more..if only..

2009-04-24T22:44:00.002+08:00

ipp has ended on a good note..thanks to all the guidance and patience they had towards us :) i really learnt alot.. and i had fun during this 10 weeks :) definitely a good one for me:)

and so, many "love letters" and gifts from some of the secondary sch girls and the staffs :) went for dinner with the PE dept..thanks for the treat, definitely was a nice dinner :)) many girls left a deep impression in my mind, i guess i were just like them once upon a time :) i really appreciate all the letters and gifts they had for me and i will treasure them :)

and so, year 3 starts on mon and woooo, thats fast..i've yet to start on my ipp report..hehe..shld be able to finish i guess..

i've learnt alot during my 10 weeks in there...and it makes my aim in future clearer and i hope im able to work towards that goal :)

through ipp, i've learnt to grow up and i think i had :)
THANK U SJC

2009-04-11T21:51:00.002+08:00

back from sentosa and it was fun :)) we had lots of fun and yes, im sure everyone truely enjoyed themselves cos i did :)) I hope we can have more of these kind of outings :)) but the after effect, super sunburnt..

they started sabo-ing ppl and throwing ppl into the sea..dinner at PS and tau huay at Selegie :))

afterall, its fun and its good to see so many ppl together HAHA.. :)
imagine nyp athletics orientation camp at sentosa?? woohooo.. :)

and now, time for serious work..club crawl, orientation camp and YEAR 3 :(

2009-04-05T16:49:00.003+08:00

qing ming ytd..
prepare, pray, smoky environment..
almost a year..but still, throat choked, teary eyes and nose turns sour when i step into the columbrium and saw her photo there.. so fast! almost a year..it seems like just months ago..how..i noe i need to hold back, i noe i need to be strong and i noe i can cos im tch :)

year 3..so fast...new batch coming in..i dont want to miss tis yr's athletics orientation becos i alr missed it last yr and tis is my last yr in nyp :) i dont want to lose the chance of minglng around with my juniors.its my last yr, i wanna contribute all that i can before i leave nyp.. i wanna do sth for mr guru, coach and my beloved nyp athletics team :)

few more weeks to year 3,
few more months to new environment

i find this very meaningful and it seems to speak my mind..

It never crossed my mind at all
That's what I tell myself
What we had has come and gone
You're better off with someone else

It's for the best I know it is but I see you
Sometimes I try to hide what I feel inside
And I turn around, you're with him now
I just can't figure it out

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you, not over you

Aren't memories supposed to fade?
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it'd be this hard

Should be strong, movin' on but I see you
Sometimes I try to hide what I feel inside
And I turn around, you're with him now
I just can't figure it out

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you

Maybe I regret everything I said
No way to take it all back, yeah
Now I'm on my own, how I let you go
I'll never understand
I'll never understand!

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
And I really don't know what to do
I'm just a little too not over you, not over you

2009-03-28T20:46:00.002+08:00

im having during attachment :) but not when theres too much stress and ppl's mood swing :S

anyway, back to sch on fri after a long long time..nice seeing so many ppl there :)) saw coach :)) coach asked me when im goin back for training..i said april, after my attachment and he say ok, he'll be waiting for me to be back :( didnt expect coach to ask me that :( dinner with jr, jerome, ahlong and kevin after a long time :))

im not in any position to ask abt the team now..so i'll just follow and do whatever they ask me to do :) and i promise i'll do a good job :))

after attachments, year 3 will start..im in need of holidays :( after that i'll be off :) I HOPE :)

there is so many things i wanna do,
swim, run, sentosa, tan, and of course to go back for trainings :))

2009-03-19T21:07:00.002+08:00

long time since i last blogged. attachment has been great. great colleagues, great students :) the one i fear most is coming back to sch :( dooms day...

OSEP at Germany, 85% confirmed. departing in Sept, arriving in Dec.
ever since attachment, i've gt no time for trainings and meet-ups..
i've not seen coach for a long time,
i've not been training for a long time,
i've not seen nyp athletics for a long time,
i've not seen SW0702 for a long time.

I WANT TO GO BACK FOR TRAINING AND MEET UP WITH NYP ATHLETICS!!!
good thing is, i still get to gym n exercise during my days in there :))

till then,

2009-02-18T19:49:00.002+08:00

ipp has been great so far..but waking up at 530am and leaving the hs before the sky brightens was zzzzz..im forcing to wake up that early every single day.. -.-
worst of all, defeated the fu virus on the 2nd day of work...2ND DAY!!! so much for being a healthy baby :(
tired after the long day..so far, ipp has been great

great ppl there to help and great partner :))) partner and i depend on each other on day 1...

on a lighter note... :))
YAY :)))

2009-02-05T21:04:00.002+08:00

i should be studying right now..
i choose to study after everyone sleep, so i can have peace..
no place for me to study, everyone hogging on to the table..
thats y i choose to study out and ppl complain when i study out..study more important or helping out more important..im not out to play and slack ard..IM STUDYING, preparing for exams..mind you! u are not in my situation, u wont understand.."beach"

not very confident for this sem..so much things to study, so packed schedule..
im attached to CHIJ St Joseph Convent..i remember when i was a kid, i wanted to be a PE teacher when i grow up..now im attached to a sec sch, is this going to be my future next time??? i dont mind since i love sports..i wanted to be attached to Sports School.. :((

i wanna buy a car for convenience sake :( by myself
i have yet to check out how to get to CHIJ lol..
i wouldnt want to be late for first day...

2009-01-05T00:00:00.002+08:00

told daddy abt OSEP and he's in favour of me going for it..
but theres alot of factors im considering...expenses, companion, adaptibility, lifestyle and many many more..
im afraid i wont be able to make it..im not independent..i would probably feel lost being alone in a foreign country..i would prob miss every single one here..

but the experience is good..everyone supports me in goin..i dunno..
what if i fail n it affects my graduation..walao, thats the saddest part..
i will miss my frens, family, trainings..everything here..but the experience cannot be compared to anything..

osep osep..how..
i would very much want the experience but...
if theres someone to be there for me, that will be good..
if mom is here, she'll probably be in full support of me going..

2009-01-01T00:42:00.001+08:00

HAPPY 2009..
first present tch got for 2009 - mosquito bite on my face -.-
like so unlucky for the start of 2009 cann... ARGH

anyway, countdown together with projects..how great..
hopefully, 2009 is a better one for me, for my family, for my friends out there :)

2008-12-31T23:11:00.002+08:00

last day of 2008..zzzzz
hopefully, new yr, better yr as well..

school was zzzzz..
skipped 9am class HAH,
met up with track mates for lunch and off home..boring eve..

im so sick of projects plsss..
no mood for projects, no mood for tests
next tues, 6 jan seems busy for me..:(
car pract, presentation, test..walao -.-

im bored ttm plsss...class is boring, I MISS TEP..HAH, we were so united back then and we had fun :)

2008-12-27T21:57:00.003+08:00

sentosa with them was fun :)
met up with akid and to siloso beach :)) the sun was on our side...

hah, good game..first was the the memorable basketball, nows it's the volleyball.. oh shit hell..im damn dumb to not realise that we left without the ball..what is tch thinking!!!

i knew they would do that, n i still told akid no need.. -.-
seriously ppl, yes im sad but nah, tch dun blame anyone.. :)
so i told akid, the ball belongs to everyone cos they paid for it..freaking 70plus for that volleyball -.-

goin back to sch on mon..hell, i miss hols still..
project not finish yet, notice board not done yet, haven enjoy enough yet..oh wells

thinking of switching to livejournal since its better and alot of ppl told me its user-friendly.. i'll still keep tis blogspot cos it has many many memories of mine..

i always had great time with them around :)

fall for you...

2008-12-26T00:25:00.002+08:00

this festive season is great..with great friends around me :)
projects dampen the joy :(
back to sch next week, which i dread the most..

2009 coming...new yr, new resolution??
yes,my new year resolution - mummy to be back pls...HA o.0

laychi's room is ..............WOW..i envy her :p
shes waiting for me to fetch her ard.. :( stressss la...

MERRY CHRISTMAS PPL...
i wanna go sentosa~~~

2008-12-14T23:10:00.002+08:00

athletics camp was a success..thanks everyone including the alumini, mr guru, coach, jinlong, ronnie,participants and especially the 8 committee members.. u guys are great..

the preparing part was tough..everyone gt their own schedule, sch, trg..not much time for preparing..stayed over on thurs nite to do last min preparation..
IT WAS FREAKING SCARY TO SHOWER ALONE IN THE TOILET..walao..ULTIMATE SCARY.. the nite was stress + crazy + fun + tired.. we had fun while doing serious work..major luaghter..malik was 1st to knock out.. finish work only at 4plus am and everyone KO alr, xcept akid n i to finish up the video..thank god, the outcome of the video is not tat bad..woke up at 6plus for sch at 8am..-.- i was freaking tired the whole day..haha my dear px had a hard time trying to keep my awake during lesson..

fri nite was great, advance celebration for mr guru, talks from guru, coach..YAY coach is not leaving anymore.. :)) national sprints head coach leh!!

games started late but it was fun..i was freaking out during the mid nite walk cannn ..but i have to stay calm and zzzz..esp at the dome..seriously omg..i thought they were so great,break the clue in less than 30 mins.. who noes, wa lao!! lol
but nevertheless, it was fun..

commitee members woke up earlier on sat morning..decathlon went well.. at one point of time, jiarui n i gt so bored that we tried doing long jumps n started cam-whoring lol..we even came up with ways to make life difficult for the teams haha..

captains ball in the pool was ultimate fun..AKID SAYS IM A LOUSY GOAL KEEPER LOL..
EH I TRY MY BEST ALR CANN..I EVEN WENT "SWIMMING" AND RISK MY LIFE IN THE POOL HAHAHA
AKID, IF U ARE READING TIS..I HELPED THE TEAM TO BREAK THE ZERO POINTS BARRIER LOL

overall, camp's great..i love camps..cos it fun and interesting..
from this camp, ALOT REALLY ALOT of ppl saw the unglam side of tch..the ivp pics and the track camp pics..walao..really ultimate unglam luh..and they LIKE TO BULLY TCH..
they like to aim at me when im innocent sia..wa lao..innocent~~~

alot of photos..but..tch is unglam in most of it :(

2008-12-09T23:21:00.003+08:00

projects are due this week..but i've not completed them :(

anyway, piaks showe me this phone recently and i swear ITS DAMN FREAKING NICE!!!
DAMN COOL!!!!

chanel choco phone!!! OMG..from chanel..
NICE!!!!
its like choco bar lol.. :P

imagine a well-dressed guy sitting on the public bus and happily eating his fried rice!!! WALAO! so much for an educated guy!! -.-

camp tis week..hopefully it turns out well :)

2008-12-08T11:52:00.002+08:00

training on fridays usually suck..400m X 10..1 min rest -.-
i nearly died ok..after that, phase two - lunges 80m X 5, run back recovery, no rest in between..WALAO!!! so much for lactic threshold day.. not much lactic build up, just soreness and fatigue build up on the 2nd run..

even till sun, my muscle aches are still there..walao -.-

camp next week..presentations next week..next week 7 days..
not even one day of slacking..

handed up my OIPP application package with nth confirmed..
all the resorts nv even reply me.. :(

want to go for dental check real soon..so i can get my teeth fixed asap..

im having so little time..my projects are not complete yet 0.o

2008-11-26T22:41:00.001+08:00

fcuk the computer, fcuk the virus..
my laptop got virus attack.. pardon my for my language but FCUK..

at this point of time where LAPTOP IS MY basic need!!! !@$#%^&*^%#$
walao..im really depressed luh..

training killed me today..100m X 20 no rest, 30s interval
omg..god god god..

WTF, STUPID VIRUS ATTACKED ME!!!
and now i gotta reformat everything single thing!! FCUK

2008-11-22T21:52:00.002+08:00

HOTMAIL IS ANNOYING esp when it comes to settling serious matters!!!

out of random, cannot click on anything and it is not directing to where i want..
ANNOYING..

ok im vain but i cant take it when i see my crooked teeth, and esp so when it gets more crooked when i grows older..so irritating
i want go for braces but i heard its damn painful :( omg..
dad say, for the sake of being pretty, must bear with it..CRAP and if i go for pte dentist, much more expensive than govt ones but i need to wait for freaking min. of two years..by then, my teeth no hope alr !!!

i shall see how

2008-11-22T21:34:00.002+08:00

ohmygoodness... i've not settled my OIPP / IPP stuff yet and closing date is freaking 5 december..wth..i want OIPP badly, but i must learn to be independent cos i'll be living alone..i want a companion to go with me badly.. real badly, yes my frens wants OIPP as well, but whats the chances of us going the same destination :(

anyway, projects and school work are piling up.. :( track camp comin up, we thought of many crazy and fun ideas, hopefully it turns out well :)

ohmygoodness..major crap, tch is taking her ever first TP on 23rd JAN 2008!!!
daddy say its my gift for the new year.. OH SHIT!! hopefully i clear at first attempt..jiejie say usually those who took 2nd attempt are the ones who seldom drive..omg!!! i want to pass at first attempt!!!

BLESS ME..

for now..its just project, schoolwork, training and driving

2008-11-12T22:50:00.003+08:00

so packed with assignments that i got no time for beauty sleep and other things.. finance test was a killer, even lecturer say so.. o.0 gosh, killed me totally.. i was confident of it but..zzzzz totally not within my expectation..

report by fri, still not done..
business law test on mon..
my part on international cross cultural management research supposed to be out by fri..
my part on ICT proj supposed to be out by mon..

so many things to do..so little time..year two is crazy, seriously crazy..
after months of school, out for attachment, WITH NO HOLIDAYS!!! walao, only that pathetic two weeks break in dec..seriously WALAO.. i have not decided where for OIPP..i wan try sports marketing :)) yay yay..

back to the track after a period of time..was raining heavily and we trained under the rain..like seriously heavy rain and COLD weather.. o.O
i got myself 2 BIG BLISTERS :((( and its RED..gosh o.O

i hate year two :(

god-mummy, i hope you recover soon :)

2008-11-06T00:44:00.002+08:00

tep results out..damn..unexpectated..
slogged my ass, did damn hard as a manager, hopefully to pull up my grades and strive for a gd grade in there..BUT oh wells, damn..im not satisfied with that..
not at all satisfied.. just that one more step to an A..SHIT MAJOR SHIT GPA did pull up a little BUT OH WELL,expectation not met..

oh well..bygones..i'll put my ass into semester 2 books HOPEFULLY..

2008-10-31T21:19:00.002+08:00

school has been pretty alright but not when it comes to tonnes of homework and projects coming at the same time and also, waking up 3 hours earlier for car practs:(

car practs, so far so good BUT i get nervous easily and i will start to start engine n all... :( -.- i've yet to learn reversing and all..how i wish driving is all abt driving forward AND NOTHING else..oh daydream...

the class seems to change after TEP, some ppl change,some ppl dont..we dont seem to be that close anymore or is it me who has changed..sometimes i feel we arent that close..whatever,i noe i have great frens with me and someone has irritated me and he/she is over my limit..

i've not seen coach since ivp day, i dunno y but i dun seems to be interested to go back..shall see how..now its POST IVP camp which is left :))

IPP coming soon, i've not decided my destination but i noe i wan to be posted myself.. i dont wan to end up at some ulu pandan place...i tot of going overseas IPP but, i need to learn to be independent :)

im going for car practs again on sun..:(

2008-10-27T22:00:00.002+08:00

2nd car prac and i made hell lots of mistakes and uncle seng keeping scolding n nagging.. :( crap, im starting to be afraid of car practs lessons..gosh..

uncle seng told me to practice more and get my liscense asap..PRESSURE, STRESS

i've not done my tutorials and projects..die!!!

oh mummy, pls bless me with ur good driving genes and bless me that im good in driving..i wan to pass at my first attempt...

2008-10-26T22:23:00.002+08:00

i shld be doing my tutorials but im not..
i shld be doing my projects but im not..
what a "productive" day for tch..
and oh great, tch has not even complete ONE TUTORIAL!!!

TCH need some motivation and some peaceful moments..

im always nervous when it comes to car practs..DIE!

2008-10-26T16:39:00.002+08:00

first car pract..zomg im nervous till my hands are stiff and forgot all about relaxing and occasionally looking at the rear mirror, all i concentrate on was the front and whether m i on line or not.. DAMN..

anyway, first experience was fun and is stalled engine for like 3 times!! wth, first lesson stall 3 times..zomg

but im still nervous and anxious :((

i needa start on projects and tutorials soon if not tch will nv make it :(

2008-10-25T23:19:00.002+08:00

ivp is over..finally..well done to all who participated..
wasn't given a chance..
top poly dream gone, somehow disappointed although i never contribute to any.. but nevertheless, i know they did their best :)

crazy camwhoring session was ultimate fun fun..shouting and screaming..the anxiety on everyone's face when they are listening to the results and anticipating.HAHAHA ultimate :)) now we have sth "against" subaish becos he's from SMU and they managed to shot up to 3rd position overall LOL..we even tried to ban him from training in nyp lol..congratulations to yujun laychi and akid :)

im still pondering whether to go back for training anot..feel so useless and see no point..but sometimes, its the ppl there that makes me stay but sometimes, i so determine to leave that i know i wont have second thoughts..oh crap tch, two headed!!!

long weekend tis week and im so gonna rest sufficient rest for new week.. tml's first driving practical lesson, hopefully im up to it lol..

mayb i shld change sport and say bye to nyp athletics family :)

2008-10-22T23:42:00.002+08:00

oh well..great job..2 years, end of 2 years and haha..same result.. oh well
i thought i was given a chance since 1 short but oh well..im just being naive.. im like .................. not impt kind...oh f***..

jinlong and i chatted over the afternoon..yes, he's true..but he is not even giving me a chance to perform..f*** if on the first day, u feel that i dont have talent in there, then tell me and i can face the reality..i am doin with passion and motivation but... oh well..i have only myself to blame...

i was upset, disappointed, demoralised when he talk to us..

wasted my time staying for that f***ing long time, wasted my time warming up.. still thought that coach will be f***ing angry with his athletes not coming for training for two days.. oh f*** naive ch..in the end, haha oh f*** f*** f***
makes my decision firmer and with no regrets, im having 2nd thought on going on sat.. oh well..i may not be able to even enjoy with the rest after the event

crap, made my day so bad and with f***ing mood..
when you are in a very f***ing mood, u tend to meet alot of f***ing strangers who are rude and inconsiderate tat piss u more..

semester two has started on week 2..oh crap, im starting to lose finance cos im totally clueless..like really " huh, teacher what u talking abt"
EFMA seems alrite :) at least i understand what shes talking abt lol.. ICT is a total waste of my time.. zzz -.-

2008-10-17T20:56:00.002+08:00

tml's ivp..fcuk..
i still have not decide whether im going down or not..
does seems any difference of me going down..just another person there..

if it seems so easy as 123 ABC..
fcuk..

tch for the first time doing my tutorials proactively :)

2008-10-12T23:32:00.002+08:00

tired of track..no more passion..
i'll just keep fit and healthy but no more coach, no more team..

rarrr..im bored..sunday cooping at home watching some shows and playing with photoshop, editing all the stupid pictures..hahaha..sch's starting tml but im not prepared for the new semester :(

i'm feeling very much not to turn up for ivp..
ignore all calls, ignore all smses, just coop at the corner in my house, not thinking anything abt whats on that day and blah blah blah..
but its rather an irresponsible act thou..someone told me, turn up for the sake of the team.. hah, team..whats team when theres no team spirit, whats team when theres no unity in us..compare ourselves with other schools..track as a boring sport??? then y can they bond together so well..much better than any other team sports..

it depends on every one self..

i've yet to call up my driving instructor.damn, and when sch is starting..

to all my team mates in nyp athletics..good luck for ivp..u train so hard just for this day..shine out ur talents and hard effort :) and to the girls, i'll be there in your hearts supporting u :) think of me when u are running :)

2008-10-11T12:40:00.002+08:00

its too big a mistake..i didnt expect tat..
everything seems to be my fault..am i dumb or what..

anyway, 2 more weeks..
hang in there..
and i'll be out from your sight..

thanks for being my friend..u are nice person..

school is reopening soon..sucky timetable, sucky life..

2008-10-10T21:54:00.002+08:00

bunkin session was great..great company and great atmosphere..training-blocks..damn irritating to do blocks under the sorching hot sun.. -.-

i made a serious big mistake..damn,tch is sucha dumb ass!!! i dunno whats got over me, playfulness or mischievousness..tis is the first time im sucha a betrayer..

victim, im sorry..im truly sorry..dun be mad at me alrites..pls
i really dunno y im so rash but i really didnt mean it..i hope u understand :))

sorry victim...

damn, im so guilty..i shld learn to be more introvert..
if there is anything that i do would appease u, pls tell me ok..
im willing to sacrifice my pride in exchange for ur forgiveness :)

2008-10-07T23:03:00.002+08:00

i hate hotmail and singnet..seriously cause me alot alot of troubles..
damn irritating..

anyway, sent out the mail..took me GREAT courage..
i took great courage to type the mail but didnt dare to send out..
but i finally did and hmmm..im afraid

ahhhhhh...i dunwan hotmail anymore, i changing to gmail but i dunno how to import contacts..tch is a IT - noob

2008-10-07T21:29:00.002+08:00

i passed my freaking final theory test on 6 oct 2008 cannnn...omg that PASSED appeared on my screen!!! damn..haha ok i am and YES I AM DAMN HAPPY that im smiling my way back to school after the test..wooo hooo..now, shit big time the practicals and practical test..shit big time!!!!!!! daddy wan me to be based at yck, but i dun like that instructor, i prefer that one in ubi..shitty :( i wan auto, but ........ DAMN SHITTY.. ahhhhh, im afraid of that instructor luh..

timetable out, shitty schedule but nice and good lecturers :) yeah, not that bad.. i mustnt daydream but do every single tutorials and copy down every single notes in lectures :)))

i dont look forward to sem two.. because it means, tests, exams and projects :( now ppl will be telling right in my face, "omg, studying for exams?? gosh, i dont have exams.." omg!!!!

ivp in less than 1 weekk.
sorry if you guys dun see me on that day..
just wanna say, GOOD LUCK :)

im tired.. sleeppyyy

2008-10-03T23:24:00.002+08:00

met up with the team for lunch at pizza hut, had my long-time-never-eat baked rice..
back to sch for training, wanted to discuss abt post ivp camp but .......
anyway, training was zomg..alrite i would say but ugly lol..

sometime, ppl arent aware of the mistakes they make and misunderstood ppl easily..i mean hello, get a life mann, if u think ppl are goin against u because u think it that way then for goodness sake, jump off the building or admit urself to imh.. well, im being random luh..

well..i've learn to take it easy and everything will go ur way..no point getting fustrated over minor matters and get urself old and not well-liked by ppl.. sommetimes, tis kind of ppl irritates alot, really ALOT..

oh oh oh..my test is on mon but not yet study..
i have got sooo much things to be done next weekk..crap..
and school's starting!!! new sem = exams for me tis time round!!!!!!
damn..i dun like E-X-A-M-I-N-A-T-I-O-N-S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-02T18:45:00.002+08:00

dinner was great..thanks for the ride back :)))

bunking session + chatting session was good..lovveee it :))
we had major fun and makans :) eat n eat n eat..
back to school for swimm in the morn and slack till evening and home..
gosh, i feel tired but not sleepy..

another bunk-in session soon :)) yeah, this time round, different place different host LOL

oh oh..school's starting and ICCM :)))) LOVVEEEE, but heard its dry :(

im sleepy~~

2008-10-01T15:41:00.002+08:00

childrens' day and hari raya :)
no sch, no trainings..only fun :)

meeting the rest tonight after dinner :))
best things always comes together,
dinner and bunking over sessions :))

crapp, FTT is coming like again and i've yet to study AGAIN..
I WONT WANT TO FAIL FOR GOD-KNOWS-HOW-MANY TIMES!!

save me..

2008-10-01T00:00:00.002+08:00

oh..i realise American Blacks are cool :) and some of them are handsome :))
yeah yeah.. :))

oh damn..my FTT is here again..LIKE AGAIN..CRAPP zomg!!!

2008-09-30T23:11:00.002+08:00

few months ago, i was at NUH for the first time, agonizing..
few months later, im back at NUH for the second time with different person, different goal..i cant help but reminiscing the day when i last step into NUH, the kind of feeling, the kind of pain..

so much of a coincidence, walking down the corridor..same corridor, different colours of life..one moment, families grieving over lost of loved ones.. next moment, families celebrating the new life of loved ones..
same building, different feelings..

im learning to let go, but its hard and difficult.. places leave memories, leave flashbacks..it always come to my mind, " the last time we did that together was.." "the last time we ate here was..." "the last time we came here together was..." alot alot..

daddy is always out and back home when im in my dreams..damn it.. i cnt even find time to talk to him..darn ass..

hmmm..on a happier note, jinlong's nephew look damn alike with him..just like zenys looks like me.. :)) zenys and i are cute ppl lol..

tot of bringing the two litte kids out for some fun but rain spoiled all the fun..so cooped at home and vcds accompanied them..they are not into toys but my phone..so they start to take pics using my phone, playing puzzle game with the photos they took..

its been long since i last ate sugar mummy's cooking.. :))) i loveeee it.. :)

looking forward to tml's plan with the usual gang.. :)))
its been a while since we last get together out like that :))

2008-09-25T00:00:00.001+08:00

yes..im sadd..very sad..what to do but to accept the truth..it doesnt make me motivated to train harder..

2008-09-24T22:02:00.002+08:00

reserve for 200m..hmmm after all these years of training..alrites then
anyway, in for 4 X 100..oso no hope i think..anyway, shall see how it goes..
i want to stop training after ivp..i cant take it, my thunder thighs and calves.. ugly..

enjoy holidays before semester two.. i wanna study hard for sem 2, no supp paper, i scareeeee... zzzz.. i wanna go shopping and movie and buy lots of things before i work hard for semester two :))

alrites, tch is tired and is hitting the bed soon :)

2008-09-23T23:25:00.002+08:00

the feeling sucks when u are down on ur luck the whole day..
waking up at freaking 5am in the morn, travelling all the way to boon lay without a seat and getting lost in some ulu pandan industrial area..what a great morn to start with..
standing under the super damn sorching sun, slogging our ass like a mad dog with no drinks and shelter and the planning of the whole event totally suckss..call urself an EX NYP SW student?? damn embarassed..zzzz zzzz zzz
no proper plans, under hot sun + tired body just makes anyone irritated and pissed off easily.. event ended, walked out to catch a cab.. being smart-aleck, the four girls decided to walk n walk and in the end, hop on the bus back to boon lay mrt.. damn..walking down roads make us feel like we are stranded on some ulu deserted area where nobody wants us..how i wish at that point of time, im driving.. :(
the sight of cab is nowhere to be seen when all four of us are rushing for time..
in the end, bused and train back to amk only to receive sms that outing cancelled..damn..

tired and shagged the whole day..never had i able to fall into such deep deep sleep, i think deeper than pacific ocean..LOL, ok im exaggerating but really..

kevin off to china, hope u have fun :) but it doesnt seems like cos he are always sms-ing me and complaining to me how boring it is..LOL..anyway, take care :)

oh my oh my..projects finally closed case.. it sucks when there is no connection at home and u cant connect to the sch's net at this point of time and u have to go looking for public places with wireless connection and powerpoint plug..DARN and upon finding the suitable place, sitting there all day long till the shop closes finishing projects after projects..such an irritating piece of thrash..

i want to stop training..stop growing big thunder thighs and inproportionate body.. not nice..

oh oh, did i mention, i fell couple of days ago and it sucks when its healing and u have the temption to peel the skin and scratch :( i dunwan scar.. i've got too many scars..

alrites..my stomach is feeling weak tis couple of days..damn..
im dating my bed for sweet dreams :)
say bye to world and hi to dreams..

2008-09-13T17:22:00.002+08:00

intensity of training has increase..coach following closely to rest period and timing :( lactic acid built up right after the 2nd run. :( but training ended very early and coach chased us off..shit, i dun feel like running for IVP

not in the mood for dinner and off home..damn i fell down outside the sch, on the pavement..pain!!! i tink i cant run on mon, first relay training for the girls :( that means not in the team.oh well..anyway im not prepared :)

ahhh..i fell i fell..damn damn..

projects are up..presentations are up..i needa get a pair of comfortable heels and power suits :)))

im so lazy to blog..nth interesting, nth fun :(

2008-09-10T14:00:00.002+08:00

bdae celebrations with track team, sugar mummy n sis and daddy and family was great.. thanks everyone :) thanks wanyin jiarui jerome kevin n ahlong for THAT surprise lol..i noe wanyin had a hard time asking me out..THANKS..coach even tricked me to why im not training -.-

bunk over at tampines was great :) zenys finds abacus interesting..
classical is oh-so-boring..two more weeks and tada, hols n new semester..

dinner last night at bottle tree village was good..i wanna try prawning session :)
oh oh..i got a random eye brow trimm on my bdae..so random and in the centre of the shop -.- but anyway..it was good :)

ivp drawing near..no mood to run, no motivation.. damn..

im thinking of where to go for my attachment in year 3..i wanna try overseas lol..

2008-08-17T22:41:00.002+08:00

out with them was great :) popeyes and window shopped..im targeting on a few nike new arrival apparels and the NUM track n field, germany one.. omg, money drop from the sky plsss.. -.-

sometimes u didnt realise u are too rude, way too rude and overboard..u may not noe but others sees it..rudeness is one i cant tolerate, as in if u wan ppl to respect u of course u must respect ppl luh..make sense huh..

i cant tolerate at times..its way too overboard for me.. RUDE, so y must i respect u if u were to talk to me like that right..oh crap..im tired..

oh oh..usain bolt is way too power mann..9.69 and he can afford to slow down at the last 20m mark..OH MANN.. :)

one week hols before classical starts.. :(

2008-08-14T22:22:00.002+08:00

i think i failed as a manager of BW..i failed to gain their trust and i failed to lead them well..indeed, ppl start to dislike me after nine weeks.. is it the way i work or what..i dunno, mayb its the way i work but seriously, sometimes im too stressed that i tend to go overboard, but i retracted back...

i dun mean to eavesdrop but i overheard nasty comments abt me as a manager, not once but many times..do i really suck to the extent..oh well, nobody likes tch now :(
i knew it comin, just didnt anticipate the ones who will hate me.. crapp, now i see the whole picture :(

sometimes its not my decision neither is it my partner, its the lecturers' decision.. im just carrying out their orders.. hmmm, some say im useless, some say im failed as a manager..
im kinda affected by them, by their gestures, by their comments..

anyway, im going for 4th time again..i tink its the stupid ans that i chose according to TCH's theory :) AHHH whatever, 4th time mann..CRAP, dummbb.. haha thanks kevin bro, he's the first one who noes i didnt make it lol..

welcome :)

2008-08-10T16:32:00.001+08:00

I made this widget at MyFlashFetish.com.

2008-08-10T15:25:00.002+08:00

im bored..im spending lots of money recently and daddy nv give me tis week.. :((
so im lk always pressing from that damn card at the damn machine :( rawwrr!!! seoul garden with SB was great but gosh, i burnt a hole in my wallet..nevertheless, the atmosphere was great thou i reach later than the rest and the company was great.. mr james wong and mr lionel was there as well :))

slack ard and home with them..gosh, i miss the last bus home and i swear taking a cab in the middle of the night is scaarryy esp my neighbourhood is so damn quiet.. :(

im thinking of training tis few daes HOWEVER, not under coach :( i dunno y..
im ok with training alone but i dunwan to train under coach :((
sometimes,i just wanna train train train, have a good sweat out and the feeling is super great :)

one week of hols before classical :) when im having hols, all having exams :( damn sch!! i wanna pass my FTT tis time round, i wanna learn driving it seems fun ok!!

i admire vitas.he's damn power!! his vocal, his looks..omg POWER LUH DEY!!!

2008-08-07T22:21:00.002+08:00

finally reports finished..BW gym comming to an end soon..i will miss the 15 of us, although we are still in the same class but we wont get to work together as fantastic 15 anymore :( i wonder how everyone feel about me as a friend and as a manager :(

anyway, a little of gym before of to meet my dearest gal..LOL, although the nite is short but we had fun and lots of catchs ups..initially i didnt wan to walk back hm with her but in the end did, so on the way, we saw tis gal who looks like xh and i was shouting at her..lol..whos noes, BOOM it rains cats n dogs..LOL..rain for shelter at the nearest bus stop and bused hm.haha, we shout lk small kids when running..it was hilarious and FUN :)) what a dae with her..LOL

anyway, coincidentally was on the same bus as jk..lol, he was lk " oh u actually wanted to walk hm but huh.." LOL, all becos of u luh ZLT!!
hahaa, i've been seeing jk for like soo many times tis few weeks..one moment in gym, another moment we are on the same bus hm.. anyway, chatted with him and off hm.. hes a nice guy,not like the dad :) after he grad, i wonder if i will see him again.. he can be my gym buddy :))

no more reports and BW, shld study for FTT lol, i cant failed anymore.. my frens are laughing at me :( rarrrr..

coach seems to know i have been slacking during trainings..lol no wonder he dun allow me to train on my own :(( rarr..when he is in bad mood, he's lk devil, when he is in good mood, he's lk big bully

seoul garden with sw 0702 tml..i hope i. having fun there :)

i will miss tonite cos we had fun..alot alot alot of fun :)

2008-08-04T00:17:00.002+08:00

now that mummy is gone,i've learnt to be more independent, more self - reliant.. i depend on myself to get what i wan and what i desire..

everyone start to change after mummy's gone..all her sisters change, granny's attitude as well..heck care, i will do whatever to protect daddy n everyone :p

exactly one year ago, mummy was standing at the spot smiling and whistling all the way.. she was lively and walking ard helping them.. one year later, today, she wasnt there..the spot was empty, no one was there assisting,helping.. lesser crew this year, not so grand this year..the spot was empty, no more sharing of food with her.. mummy will always fetch us ard..no more, tis year no more..

its been sometime, but it seems yesterday..
its been long, but it seems short..
its been awhile, but it seems just ago..

tears rolling down when memories flash back
memories, both happy and sad,silly and angry..
how i wish time would turn back, to once upon a time, to where I would delete all viruses and sickness and theres no death, no old, no illness..

i have yet to deal with it..
the wound will never heal, never never heal..its too deep a cut..

i love you <3

2008-08-03T00:06:00.002+08:00

omg, im so irritated..
stayed home all day, wanted to finish up my reports but i cant get into that mood.. its always, games, blog, music, movie..ok got report but only less than half a page :( zomg..no self discipline..

ppl are so hard to please..its not as if we order extreme sizes..hello, its only 1 size diff leh..making a fuss out of that hole..gosh..its so difficult to manage and get orders..

anyway, two more or even one more week to end of gym..relief..
one week short break b4 focusing on projects n after tat, keep away my mischieviousness and laziness and prepare for sem 2..i wan everyone to be proud of me

haha..easier said than done..hopefully tch keeps her promises..
i've already planned..
when semester two comes, other than trainings, i will bury myself with revisions n tutorials..either in sch or anywhere ard my neighbourhood but not at home cos i cant concentrate at home.. :(

i have the strong unwillingness to be in ivp tis yr..im not prepared..
hopefully coach doesnt put me in..but thinking back, y do i stil train when im not into competitive..argh, pls enlighten me :(

2008-07-29T22:52:00.002+08:00

sometimes ppl just wanna spoil my day..fcukers

i woke up at freaking 815am when im supposed to be in sch by 850..woo how great :(

so what if you are the senior..dun freaking carry the word " senior" and walk ard.. u make me wanna slap u, senior!! so what senior, big shot yeah? u n i are earning the same 15 bucks MIND U SENIOR..dumb arssee..go n suck nipples, suck cork, suck ass, suck thumb..WHATEVER SENIOR!!!

naz n i were the 2nd grp to be tested 56 exercise..what a dumbbell fly..LOL
if not i could have gotten full 6 marks lk them :(( im kind enuff to help anu lol

waiting for ahlong to finish training and dinner-ed with him n kevin..
lol, they like to bully me :((( lotsa chatting and updating..

2 more weeks of BW and im off from responsibilities, stress and troubles..
god, im losing hair everydae cause from BW :(

i cant tolerate last min work, so im starting on my reports earlier.. darn
reports = no rest..
god bless tch

2008-07-17T20:37:00.002+08:00

random random random..last weekend was booorrriiinnnggg to the max.. -.-
over to raffles city to get my fav colour sports bra n to see my bf wanyin HAHAHA shes funnie n nice of her to accompany me :) she gang up with my sis to bully me how bad..

weekday was boorrrring as well..alot of things to be done..talk only but nth comes out.. :(((

whp event on mon was a blast..i love this group of fantastic 15..they rocks, cos we they showed team spirit n looking at everyone doing up the spider web was pleasant to the eyes..its amazing and heart-warming...if theres a best group award during TEP awards nite, it is bound to be the FANTASTIC 15 of SW 0702.. :)))) sacrificing my breakfast + lunch was all worthwhile..

goin to diff classes to intro sw tee was fun :)) looking at familar faces and looking at what the yr 1s actually look lk..i prefer 0801 :)))

what coach said on wed was right, but..... cant help, i cant focus :(( ok mayb i shld try...HAHAHA..im afraid the team will collapse at this point cos no one is willing to take the initiative anymore and everyone is tired..i dunwan to quit becos i like my cca but the team isnt making me think this way..

arghhhhh,, tch is sooooo eff-ing tired..loads of things to do..
classical timetable out..borrriing classes with borring ppl..y cant it be within fantastic 15.. -.-

tch wans to sleep and dream of anything and everything under the sun, the moonlight, the stars, the birds, the clouds..and hopefully, something swweeeetttt..

2008-07-11T21:17:00.002+08:00

tch keeps forgetting things nowadays..ok, im getting on ages..LOL
time flies, week 5 coming, projects n reports dueing..gosh..
james is back, but not to bw..siannzzzz..everyone miss him there..
looking at zaccheus made me want to go back to once upon a time, where i dunno anything or everything on earth..just happily enjoying my life every single dae..

i hope you read this from up there..
im dying from my current life..it totally suck, i couldnt tolerate anymore.. i need my respect, just lk how i respect others..i dun grow up eating glass or plastic, so im visible and how she treat me, worse than the rubbish she owned..

sometimes im wondering, some ppl who deserve to die dont but others did..
sometimes i hope she vanish in front of me.. be it gone somewhere or dead, i dun wish to see her..

could u give me advice..i hate her..really, theres no point in me tolerating her or giving in to her cos she dun deserve..sometimes i feel lk whacking her till she come begging to me..im not a weapon, not a tool, not an atm for as n when u wish to borrow money from me..im human, i have feelings, i have emotions, i have senses..u are so different when u come to me borrowing few hundred bucks.. SHIT U FCUK U

i hate u
i hate u
i hate u
i hate u
i hate u
i hate u
i hate u
i hate u
i hate u
i hate u
i hate u
i hate u
i hate u

but i wan to thank her, for making me realise i made the right choice to leave after 3 years, to made me realise that the world is not as simple as i tink, there are vicious ppl everywhere. she made me realise everyone changes lk the weather. she made me realise i made the right choice to ignore her and also, some ppl can be damn nice to u when they need a favour from u but once accomplished, u are worse than rubbish from rubbish dump..
thinking of the things she did for me in the past, she had gone past my limits, way past..nothing could be done to turn things back..

hmmm thats the monsterous side of tch cos shes had gone past her own limits...
i need a breather, i need a break..i need fresh air, fresh environment

2008-07-08T23:04:00.002+08:00

nothing interesting tis few daes..bw gym, training, home..
im interested in all the muscles n bones when she explain in gym...that leads me to sport science huh..but..but..but..tch n science no connection luh.. die..

jinlong told me he received quite a few feedbacks abt me lately..hmmm, tch did nth wrong so shldnt be afraid..but but but but..i dunno, contradicting..

daddy wans to get me a new phone..hopefully soon :) i wan that samsung omnia but its freaking 800 bucks cannn..money drop from sky pls.. -.- so i told daddy i wan the other similar one, w/o WiFi, w/o microsoft, smaller and smaller memory which only cost less than 300 bucks..very good deal..come to think of it, y would i need a phone with thousands of contacts space, microsoft and WiFi when im not a businessman.. it suits daddy but he n that kind of business phones got no connection luh.. HAHHA ok..im bad..

well, im starting to dun lk home..with no room to call mine, with no privacy for me and no entertainment..gosh, disastrous..

sometimes im wondering,
y some who deserve to die nv die, some who dont deserve to die, died..
hmm ok tch is mean..meanie tch..

enuff of crap..i cant do incline pull ups..LOL..damn it..

2008-07-03T20:32:00.005+08:00

its been some time..im busy lazy and buzzy and whatever-zzzz
out with my lovely gals on tues..its been a while since we last had fun :)
they purposely wore TEP shirt..lol, imagine us wearing that to suntec.. hahahs
did alot of random pics, haha i tink whenever we are together, silly acts are out.. we dont care if we are in public or... we simply play n live in our own world for tat 30mins..

peek-tures

after many many many attempts..taaadddaaaaaa...

sports science or sports management..

2008-06-25T09:44:00.002+08:00

bored..49th dae..so fast..

wendy sis ask me to shift to her hs..im more than happy to that but i dunno, see how..daddy tan must give green light..pouring my troubles to wendy sis and listening to her advices was good.. shes always there for me..

my fren is damn blur cann.. -.-
i was teling kishor, mayb the traditional way of snail mail helps to transfer the information down..lol, if not no one knows whats going on..

heard upon tis conversation between a group of guys and their coach over dinner ytd..
the coach was lk keep restricting the food that the guys can eat and one guys was saying, alamak, in that case, we all go vegetarian luh..so many things cant eat.. so the coach was saying when u have a well toned body, u can eat all u wan..

but thinking hard, if i eat al i wan, then wouldnt i get back to square one??? weirdo
anyeay, the coach has gt SUPER SLIM LEGS but body frame is BIG
i wan that legs but not the body..lol

2008-06-24T23:03:00.003+08:00

HAHAHA, everyone sae tch's blog add damnn nonsensical...lOl i noe but but but, i cant tink of any others luh...lol

anyways, gym without james is @#$%^&^%$#
that replacement is omg cmi ihatehim HAHAHA
anuja is already complaining to me abt him HAHAHA anu anu..
gossiping with daryl in the gym todae was uper funny, the way he say, hahaha i shall see on wed..lols d vs h LOL

gosh, now i noe..im the bad apple in their eyes..
no one approves of what i do..
lk i told wy, keeping quiet is the best option LOL
u noe, i noe ok already luh..shhhhh
i shall follow suit from now onwards.. :))))

darling jr n my bf wy are damn cute when one is being superstitious HAHAHAHAH

time flies, its the 49th...
its seems lk ytd..

2008-06-22T16:54:00.002+08:00

im feeling oh-so-bored this weekend..
some ppl have been viewing my blog secretly and they arent my friends thou i know them..so changed link, hahaha ok that link is dumb but thats what i could think of..LOL

im so eff-ing bored at hm alone facing the laptop...
daddy tan is willing to give me his brand new phone HAHAHA but i rejected it.. LOL

no one wants to help daddy tan..they rather work for others..Y..gosh
shit im so gonna have hell in bw tis few weeks.. -.-
oh yeah yeah, the jap restaurant near yck is nice :) or mayb the company going was nice :)

im suffering from aches at my thigh cos coach tortured us and dripping ice on my legs killed my legss..

2008-06-18T22:16:00.004+08:00

i feeling so annoyed and pissed off now..
the house is getting on my nerves, ppl are getting on my nerves..

the house is in total mess..imagine i bringing my laptop and keeping sch, reason being, my house doesnt have a proper place for me to put my laptop.. -.- CB
study table becomes rubbish table..
initially i tot ok, living room corner is my paradise, who noes some idiot bugged in.not one but two..CB no more plc to keep my laptop decently.. DARN ASS
gosh, im so fed-up..daddy dae present nv chip in cos i felt no use.. afterall, they are just using money that daddy tan give each week. -.-
im no longer impt in the 3s.. heck care, i only need to care for daddy tan and younger sis is my responsibility..thats all..

3 yrs up, say hi to overseas and bye to here..
still not sure where to go for studies.. worst come to worst, go find wendy jiejie at tampines HAHAHAHAH

looking at her acting cute and attracting attention in front of guys makes me tink of daes back in sec sch where we will always discuss girls lk them..GOSH, childish girls...no shame of themselves, fancy acting cute, attracting attention in front of guys, gosh somemore i noe them..darn y tch always noe tis kind of ppl..knowing that shes the kind that will act cute and attract attention, i was asking myself - do i really noe her that well?

i realise there are times we cant work well but nevertheless, we are close frens.. mayb i will avoid working with u in future cos i dunwan to spoil our relationship..

on a lighter note,
final theory on 13 aug..lol my 3rd time ok!!! freaking 3rd time!! gosh, so paiseh
thanks bf wanyin to accompany me all the way there, walking down the alley reminds me of 8th may, walking there anxiously taking test, receiving shocking news.. no more u-turns, no more one last chance...i've yet to deal with it..

my core is still aching from mon..darn weak tch!!!

2008-06-13T22:29:00.002+08:00

roaaarrrr...just a few runs and i merlioned..god, not even under coach's training..what sia, dunno what got into tch..lol..ok so thats for training, 200m X 2 and 150m and merlioned.. -.-
i tot im fainting after my 150m run hahaha, suddenly not my usual self.. damn, and it was merlioning and stoning..

BW up next..shit,give me the bloody postion of tat..gosh after hearing to what joel told me,i scare ppl will hate at the end of 9 weeks..gt ppl hate tch alr, whats if more ppl start to hate me after tat..gosh, tch gt no frens..ROOOOAAAARRR!!!!
save me!!!! pls dun hate me...i hope u guys wil understand, i needa do my job thus ....... ROOOAARRRR i dunno luh...

thai express dinner with darlin jr bf wanyin n kevin bro..
it was lk ghost story-telling for us..lol, all related to nyp..HAHAHAHA
wy dun dare to go for class at SHS block alr cos the highlight was SHS LOL

trainin on mon..im getting back if not i will merlion my whole lungs n stomach n intestines and liver n i-dunno-what out...

i have made the choice to go overseas to study after 3 years
i cant stand living here with her..i can tolerate that, its over my limit..
im sorry if i have to leave daddy tan, but i cant stand sleeping in the same room, surviving with her rubbishs n nonsenses with her..
isnt the trauma big enough for her to think..gosh, im totally disappointed..
are u thinkin for the family or the other way round?? grow up luh.. dun force me to stay away b4 i graduate..

2008-06-10T20:03:00.002+08:00

berkelah waterfall trip was great..
tch made it back in one piece..lol
with the super strong current waterfall and slippery rocks, tch made it back hm safely..haha
clinging on to my dear little life and the nite is the scariest part..tch dun lk dark n is afraid of dark..lol..end up ps-ing the gals for sentry duty..IM SORRY GALS..
thanks akid for willing to help me with my bag..HAHA THANKS

well, its lk urban life with powder bath n eating from mess-tins and rainbena..lol
up to the waterfall was scary..there are times where tch almost slip n say bye.. thank god, haha..THANKS tina, without her i think tch wouldnt be typing alr..LOL

sleeping on the rocks, enjoying the cooling waterfall was great..
leave nothing but footsteps, bring back nothing but memories..LOL, but tch brought back cuts n bruises n sprains..LOL clumsy ch

ok so enuff of fun..great daddy tan decided to fetch me hm aft work
reach hm, unpack, shower n tada, report writing.. nv slack for that one moment..how great..tch eyes were shutting, brain not functioning..but what to do..
got tch's best fren - coffee to help..stayed awake by having coffee by my table and music..gosh, all the lights are on eventhough im at the living room hahahaha.. browsing thru my msn, many of my frens are rushing reports as well and their pm has the same meaning, " reports are annoying" LOL
shut down my com at 4.30am..fcuking sleepy..woke up the nxt dae and cont..god damn..
finally all completed and nicely done..

i didnt noe todae theres napfa test cos i dun remb recording in my hp n notebook n laptop..sorry jinlong!! :(

god damn, im moving my ass to BW gym soon..damn,once again boring life..
imagine tch sitting at the counter for god-damn-freaking-4 n half hours..damn
no life at all..

thinking back..its been god-knows-how-long since i last train..gosh, back to level one again..i dun feel lk continuing alr..is it laziness or what.. no idea..

2008-05-28T22:46:00.004+08:00

i miss mummmyy!!!
gosh..daddy scolded me cos i forgot to send out a letter of his.. sorry luh but i was occupied n forgotten.. :(
i miss mummmyy..mummmyy wont be bias, unlike dad..
dad is always soooooo the bias towards younger ones..gosh..he always thinks that yh is much more obedient, more filial as compared to me.. and im always the bad gal in him...but hey, when i do good things u are not there to see.. and u keep effing that im not obedient, im not mature, im not filial blah blah blah..what is tis luh..
gosh, when i wan to talk to hime about some plans,, he will always eff me by saying," u tell me all your plans, but are you sure u can wake up on time.. u always wans me to be your human alarm call, but it always fails.." gosh, whe gt ppl can wake up when their eyes are like half open..gosh..mummmyy will always make sure i wake up and know what im doing b4 she leaves my room..
yes..im much more not filiah, more immature than them but hey look, whos the one whos more independent!!! ass

sometimes i hate talking to them..it seems that i cant communicate with them at times..we are related by blood, so show each other respect..dun tink that u know more than we do just becos u are older..gosh, u are just a failure who fails in everything..stop givin me effing attitude cos u deserve more from me..

ok im missing mummmyy sooooo much now..
can i talk to you,by any means..

anyway...i think ch is toooppiiiddddd!!!!
nyp biathlon was over..gosh, retarded
so i was the road marshal n i can see all the participants..
so rui was running down the slope towards my direction and pointing at her shoes, looking damn exhausted..so i tot what happen and she replied "laces"..
so TOOPID TCH ask her to tie and say no worries, no one chasing at the back!!
and after she finish tieing and ran off, i realise, hey actually i should tie for her luh!!!gosh, too late..assss..tch is such as assss..toopid ass

organise debrief and there are bound to be ppl give effing attitude..
what the...i cant please everyone
this time round i sent out emails b4 i act..and what did i get..BSs
i need opinions..i need suggestions.. gosh, i find it damn hard to work with you..
i've not got a chance yet but if im given one, i choose not to..

haha, jr is damn funnie when it comes to facing coach..
ass gal..HAHAHA

ok..im so not looking forward to this weekend cos im slogging my ass off...SHIT

2008-05-26T13:07:00.002+08:00

im sooo effing bored..
down to golf range tis morning..hmmm, tink i've no fate with golf..hahas
back to sch and rot..

well, is tis my proj or whos..
y the person contact u instead of me..gosh, im not jealous or what-so-ever..
but is just tat its my work so i need to do my part rite..
whatever..i shld be rejoicing cos ppl are helping to do my part..

hahas..i dun feel lk training..
i see no point in training..
on tis side i see no point, but on the other, i wan to run..whatever shit..
ok ok, im soo effing bored can..

2008-05-25T22:40:00.002+08:00

well well well..sucky sucks..it totally sucks sucks sucks..pls luh, trust is impt..

anyways, fri was -.- freaking lousy day, but seeing track ppl, listening to the way they talk kinda cheers me up.. i-dunno-why.. with that freaking mood, didnt bother to train at all and yes, didnt train but only tat pathetic gym workout..
i tot adidas sales was at millenia walk as well, tats the info passed down ok!!! in the end, toopid luh!!!! waste my chance

pre-sundown marathon event..gosh, im not satisfied..very the not satisfied
anyway, lucky theres ppl who keep me accompany all day long..
down to expo for adidas sales but gosh, only left soccer stuffs..damn it!!! :@ :@
nvm, i still got GSS sales but hafta fork out more money..saddened..

a K2 kid heard from the teacher that purchasing bread from breadtalk can help china now..so she got her daddy to buy for her and she ate happily..
so she made a call to her mummy who is working in china and asked
," mummy, is china stil shaking?"
the mummy replied," nope..now better alr"
so the K2 kid got so happy and said," becos i eat breadtalk bread, so china stop shaking alr.."
-.- LOL kids are naive..

wa u all very enthu huh..
" no, i not N2 (enthu), i K2..LOL

ok whatever,

gosh, im sooo tired but reports n presentations coming up..alamak, tch no time luh
i've seen ppl's true colours..
i've seen the big picture..

2008-05-22T21:23:00.002+08:00

ISG was a blast..successful event
lots of cork up here n there during the event, but overall good

alot of events last few days..
adidas workshop - dots, im stil nike freak afterall..HAHA
FAS tournament - fun n tiring..the weather is being kind to block the sun during the event..hahas

shit, my gum or i-dunno-what is infected with again, i-got-no-idea stuff and its swollen..gosh, now i could hardly close my mouth fully..hopefully external is ok..haha

eversince 8th may, i have been learning to be independent and stay strong..
0702 has helped me alot, esp the EPM peeps..thanks ppl.. and also my one-set-meal gang, bf wanyin, track peeps..thanks :)
now im waiting for the time only..hopefully soon enuff, i just wan to say what i wan to say but hasnt gt the time..

i seem to lost my footing in the family..i've been isolated and kicked out..i can communicate with her..age gap? some things are meant to be shared, so pls.. its not solely yours!!! show the rest some free time n respect CAN!!! YOU BITCH!!!!

family, frens..gosh..darn
px dear...im not sure if u are reading tis but u gonna stay stong alrite.. lk what u told me, tch will be here for u..at most, i can keep u but must pay hospi fee..HAHA

i tink im stopping track..
yes, i think i am..
no motivation to run anymore..

2008-05-15T20:43:00.003+08:00

ISG was a blast..
if im not wrong, new HT pb for me..
im sorry, but that medal i dont deserve cos it does not belongs to me..there was some cork up here and there..
ok..so, thanks guys for helpin me with the logistics, with the drinks hahaha..
so after isg was training, trainin was hell..i tot i could skip training but abcdefghi, gotta train..all thanks to jerome, if not i could not have finish so early..haha..

tat day bf asked me a qn..
it really speak my mind, i tot of tat..seriously, with soo many things fallin on me..
but i dunno, its the ppl who made me stay initially..
but thinking back, its not lk what it seems..i seem to have drifted away from them.
i couldnt join them every now n then, i couldnt help them in whatever i can..
im giving it serious thoughts..someone pls enlighten me..

i feel so bad, damn bad tat she has to give up her project for me..
something tat shes been working on and now im taking over, i need not do so much..
shit, i feel lk im a bad person..
they consoled me, but i feel really shitty
its so shitty that tch has to snatch ppl's project for her own sake :(((

gosh, sometimes i feel shitty ever since
she got no respect for each other..
elderly's words fell on deaf ear for her..
cant she think, w/o her, how would she have grown so big n old..darn ass!
pls, u shld think.. u shld help us, not the other way round
gosh, im dreading her.. -.-

im starting to miss...
i dun feel comfortable w/o her ard..
shit, how......

8th MAY 2008 - pls tell me its a dream that i have not woke up from

2008-05-12T19:26:00.005+08:00

suddenly, i feel that i lost everything..i lost my sense of directions...
i wasnt prepared for tat, it happened so suddenly..
i have lots of things to tell her, but there wasnt a chance..

there are still so many things undone but u left
you haven watch me putting on my robe,graduating at nyp
you haven celebrate my big 21 with me
you haven experience tch driving you ard with my new liscence
you haven watch three of us walking down the aisle
you haven let us be mentally prepared

how could you leave us here

theres alot of things i wan to sae to you, but its all too late
im sorry for my bad temper,
im sorry for being rude to u at times,
im sorry for not respecting you at times,
im sorry to go against u at times,
im sorry to ignore you at times,
im sorry for being disrespectful at times
im sorry for coming home late everydae

i will take care of myself,
i will take care of daddy cos hes what im left with
i will be strong,
i will learn to stand on my feet again
i will walk thru this phase of life
i will understand
i will not disappoint you
i wan you to be proud of me

thanks for being there for me everytime i come crying back home
thanks for being there everytime i come home injured
thanks for taking care of me for 19 years, its been hard on you
thanks for carrying me for 9 months in ur womb
thanks for being there when im bullied
thanks for teachin me the way of life
thanks for teachin me manners
thanks for shaping me into what i am today
for 19 years, i am what you shaped into

thank you
i love you

u left peacefully
now that u left, tch is here to carry on ur hopes for you
you once said, you wouldnt want us to be sheddin tears when u are gone..
im sorry, i tried my best but i couldnt..

thanks everyone for being there for me at my down time
thanks nyp track team
thanks SW 0702
thanks mr lionel, mr damien, mr james wong
thanks daddy guru, jinlong, kevin, zhaoyuan, audi, jinghao, bf wanyin, jerome for makin ur way down to console me
thanks px dear, peiyi, peijun, fengyao, huimin, edwina, eugene, marcus for coming down, cheerin me up after ur long day..u guys did made me smile
thanks buddy ting and hong, u gals are great, u gals are always there for me
thanks for all the smses and wishes
thanks james for the long chat..

thanks ppl, i really appreciate every single thing u guys did for me..

tch will be strong, tch will get back on her feet soon..
in the meantime, the old tch is devastated, depressed and dead..

sorry..

2008-05-07T23:16:00.003+08:00

happy birthdae darling jiarui..
prodigy? y am i one? no idea..

im stress now
i cant take it anymore, i broke down..
all poppin at me at one shot..
tch cannot take it..tch will collapse
everything falling on me..

track, family, friends..all falling on me
mummy lying there helplessly, i couldnt do anythin to help..i dont want her to sufer, but i cant let her go..i really cant let her go..i will go bonkers

things are going beyond my limits, y are things happening at tis moment
all at one shot, tch will collapse..i gt no power, no say in the team but a huge task left behind..
thinkin of it, sometimes ppl are just stupid.. as in do u do likewise at hm to ur parents as well..or is it becos we are friends, so we dont deserve that??
ok..i dunno..everyone is at fault, no pin-pointing..im at fault oso

we must implanted this basic virus in everyone single one b4 the team collaspe..
but how am i goin to do tat
how am i goin to put it in a way tat no one hates me after tat
no one will murder me after tat
no one will have hatre against me after tat..

i dunno how..im clueless..
i need to spread virus b4 i can get him back..and i promise i will

thanks ppl for being there for me..
i will be strong..thanks ruii, it really moved me to tears :)

im sorry..

random random

2008-05-04T18:52:00.003+08:00

sunday boring boring..
well, i guess sooner or later im locking my blog up.. im being forced to
ppl tend to be over sensitive at times, accusing me..
ppl tend to spoil my friendship with ppl so that im seen as the bad guy..
well, pls noe me well..i dun mean anythin unless u are overboard..

i believe theres ppl ard me who noes me well..
i just wan this to be done better than before so that we leave a good impression in SA's mind :)
since u are in track, u shld noe :)

well, im not sure if anyone is against me but if there is, bring it out right infront of my face can..no point being kind souls, u will suffer heart pain..

ok im being random but i noe who are my true frens and who really cares for me..
thanks for being tolerant, but i guess it isnt necessary :)

im not sure if u are referring to me, but im somehow guilty

being random, i feel lk trying out water-skiing..

ok dunno y, i want tis cake so badly!!!

2008-05-03T23:43:00.002+08:00

many things happen last few daes
tch is a dumb ass that she cant get a simple personal selling thingy done properly..sorry dear!!

well..attachment still sucks, training as well, gosh..i've gt tons of things waiting for me to clear..

track juniors are alrite so far..some cant communicate, some easy to click with.. just hope everything turns out well :)

oh oh oh oh..FTT this coming thurs..jialat, 2nd attempt leh.. jiawei agitated me with his 1st attempt pass :(((
thinkin back, i shld have start my PDL 1st..wasted my 2 mths..i wan a car badly :((

alrites, sushi at tanjong pajar again, tis time round with more ppl..
cold jokes dae..lol
whats before sundown?.....sun rise... :)
daryl say he's allerged to vegetables and seafood.. -_- whatever mannn LOL

when i open to everyone, everyone keep quiet
when i keep it within tis few ppl, sure gt ppl say im a bastard..

what is tis man, y dun u direct me what to do..i will be ur slave
tch always do the wrong things cos shes idiotic and stupid..sorry..

the time bomb in me is timing,,soon it will go BOOM~~~!!!

2008-04-27T18:56:00.002+08:00

ok..so weekends are bored..
sat was aquathlon, saw philip and danny..congrats :)
philip lept the rest by alot..really alot..
off home and met up with bf wanyin for dinner..yeap, we chatted lots.. haha..
heard tat track camp was fun.. :)
i missed out everything luh, all the fun..arghhh..but im definitely looking forward to the next..
presentation again tml!! oh gosh, but its not james wong.. :))

gosh
its been a long time since i last say i cannot during training
its been a long time since i last say i lost my butt
its been a long time since i last say i wan to go home
its been a long time since i last suffered muscles aches
its been a long time since i last did lunges

and YES, training on fri was braddy hell!!
i almost merlioned..gosh, if i did, i guess i will scare the juniors off..

3 phases of training,
gosh, i dun mind joining the year 1s for training :))

is it becos of attachment?
i suddenly felt that i lost contact with the rest of the them..
i dun even noe how some of them felt until they bombarded me..
i tot we were all in together but somehow, we left out a few..
we shld learn to be as a team, doing, discussing, suffering, organising as a team

if not, i wonder how many will still stay..
if i did, im sorry but i didnt mean to leave out any one of us

2008-04-22T10:34:00.003+08:00

EPM sucks luh..boring life when theres no event...
sitting here seeing everyone rotting, i might as well stay at home and do the same..gosh, cant take it..

and whats worst, out of so many days, events falls on the day when i alr have plans..cork up cork up..

drifting further and further away..soon, theres no more fun in there.. :(
gosh..im beginning to avoid that..but i cant..
sometimes being alone is not a good idea.. :(

ok..im so bored..
TALK TO ME, TELL ME YOUR NAME
i wan to join in the fun as well :(
with bf, with jr ... :(((( argh, im devastated !!

gosh, im dying of unknown illness - boredom

THANKS ZY FOR THAT MASSAGE..
damn shiok..i wan more..haha :P

2008-04-21T22:42:00.002+08:00

i hate EPM...EPM Sucks!!
ALL my plans corked up just for EPM..argh!!!
daddy's bdae cant celebrate, juniors orientation cant go..what the fcuk!!!

self training todae with bf n jinlong..wa, first time completed 10 50m striding LOL
talked alot on our way to dinner..wooo :)
was quite looking forward to wed n sat's training but arghhh, all corked up!!!
fcuk fcuk!!!

sometimes team work does help alot..
share ur ideas, let others improve it..
u may get something much more better than you never expect

if you had done something right, no one will notice you
if you had done something wrong, someone will notice you

i dun mind being the back stage crew cos im used to it

2008-04-20T22:13:00.002+08:00

3rd time representing nyp..good race, pb broken but not satisfied :(
waking up as early as 7am wasnt tat easy..sorry sihao!! LOL
coach really tot i gave up 100m race haha...
lunch at bedok central and back for afternoon races..

everyone did very well todae :)
when am i gonna break the timing..argh..
i know its not easy but im trying ..hopefully

back to the toopid room tml :(

2008-04-18T22:22:00.002+08:00

club crawl ended..hope the juniors stay with us throughout alrites :)
thanks gilbert n bryan, u guys are supportive n steady ppl hahas

anyway, training was blocks :)
i've gt a emergency button with siren on me now :) LOL
many things coming up, ISG, EVENTS, ATHELETICS ORIENTATION blah blah blah
omg, i wan more than 24 hrs..
i dun like EPM luh!!! :(

i seriously dun understand what guys are thinking..
dressed up smartly BUT carrying the gf's handbag..GOSH,total dismay!!
omg, tch's bf will nv be caught like that..HAHA

everyone gt this mindset that fat ppl cannot run.. :(
i run slow luh but at least i can win some ppl alrites!! dun play play hor!!
im an active fat kid :P

2008-04-17T22:30:00.002+08:00

woooooo tch back to blogging..busy busy

training nowadays was *&^%$#$%^&
hydro training nearly killed me having to swim with 1 breath even though its only 3 - 4 lanes width..im toopid enuff to leave my googles at hm collecting dust
wed's training was zomg, medicine ball, pylometric board, hurdles
legs gave way and gt myself 4 bruises :( malik gt shocked haha!

EPM really bore my ass out..planning, getting projects on hand blah blah blah
dissapointed, so i poured my sorrows to bf..bf say im too soft-hearted and too easy-going, letting ppl take the best choice and givin myself nth :(
but isnt being easy going a good thing?
bf kinda wake me up..thanks bf.. :)
some things are meant to be shared, some arent..i needa be wicked at times..

club crawl day 1 - all last min work..but quite sucessful luh..
disppointed in HS'03 :(
james keep saying our batch is the only batch that keep eating n eating..LOL
few rounds of printing and cutting n printing n cutting..
ended at 5 plus,
printing for tml..
sam keep arguing with me - eagle vs hawk..
whats the diff?? LOL

sam is cold with his cold jokes!!
hawk is much more dirty than eagle cos hawk is from hawker..LOL
toopid sam!!! -_-

i've been seeing track team everyday since sch starts esp bf wanyin
haha, she getting sick of seeing me..
die, all comers' tis sun..im feelin weird running with sec sch ppl HAHA

2008-04-13T17:41:00.002+08:00

so ytd was training..gosh,waking up at 8am wasnt easy..pool trainin was alrite but tiring..i dunwan excuse letter cos i dunwan to embarass myself again :( lunched at novena and off hm, finally able to sit down n surf net, send HS'03 their contact list..

out at 7, meet up wif fen b4 meeting track mates for tau huay :)
wow, "couple-dating" day..LOL
along the way, some heart-pouring talks with bf..hmm, i didnt noe u felt left-out that dae...now i do cos im feeling tat soon...now its all back to sq one with me n jr..god..whatever, so pls..HS'03, come join me in track, esp clement n bryan, cos u guys promised me..HAHA

sch starting on mon..ass, BORED cos my khakis all not with me!!!!!
its so not my type of life.. sitting down everyday from 9 to 5.30, planning events, doin proposals and running it..gosh..

im still in camp mood..esp from orientation, it was super fun though i wasnt well aft tat..but its all worth it for HS'0803 :))
ppl from HS'03, im starting to miss u guys alr though i only see some of u on the 1st day..join us as OGLs next yr alrites and we will have fun :)))

im so not looking forward to the next 9 weeks :((( god, save me.....

2008-04-12T15:27:00.002+08:00

after sooooo long, ive decided to blog becos im lazy n busy

2nd time representing nyp was a total disaster, that pat on the back of my head frm coach reminds me of Mr. Burhan :) overall its a dissappointing and embarassing race for me :(

tot tat im able to skip from trainings when attachment starts, but who noes, excuse letter again :( im being posted to EPM first, all my khakis are over at bodywatch gym..argh!!!! i can predict life w/o them..boring days ahead :(

training has taken a level higher..prolly every single day training with only 1 off day :( pool training was alrites, it was fun hahaha..jinlong and his super fast movements..lol

sbm orientation over..HS 0803, fun n loving class with handsome n funny people :)
thanks for making the effort down on the 2nd day, i really appreciated that, eventhough not all came, but they had valid reasons :)
HS 0803 ppl, i will still remb u guys, a bunch of funny n loving ppl esp the few guys haha..u guys rocks alrites...these 2 days are really worth me getting sick aft that :))))

jinlong left me a huge task :(

we are so close yet so distant :(

2008-04-04T23:38:00.002+08:00

i was too lazy to blog tis few days..my life was circling ard trainings, meetings n work..didnt have time for anything else :(
i was soooooo unlucky when they left for obs, leaving me n bf here :(
athletics booth almost ready, waiting for akid's idea..im aint of much help, sorry :)
su ppl are so rude!! alamak, at least u reply my sms or something luh and u bloody hell hang up on me when i call..shit from the bull!!

meeting with only pathetic 3 of us..not much done untill mr guru talked to us..
mr lionel is just as lame as ever..
from EI course to macdonald house course
efficiency level that has gonna do with number of letters..
watever man, but he crap alot with us :)

training was blocks..
its my first time doing on curves and i gt bloody race on sun..
crap, im feeling so the stress luh..
i wan to go back to india, mumbai luh!!!!

gosh, wish me luck on sun man, hopefully i gt a nice timing..
bf n jr, remb if i get 32 n below, tau huay on me :))

2008-03-24T23:07:00.003+08:00

work during the weekends, fuck is the word
i dun mind being bossed ard by ppl of higher ranks than me, but hello, look who u are talking to and u are there as if u are the big boss..excuse me, im the one who intro u the job and u are showing ur power, gosh..idiotic!!
u think im new to the job, an idiot to u..whatever, criticising ppl is what u are capable of..gosh..im tired of all these..give me a break

training hasnt been tis fun for the past few weeks, untill bf came back.. :))
bf did her new pb for 100m,not bad huh, after 17 days of not proper training..LOL
the ones in sg are not training properly while the one in cambodia is training hard even outside the hotel room's corridor..LOL

wanted to train, in the end did only 1 200m stride and warm up..LOL
last min decision into the pool for a dip, unexpected topics brought up
lots of catching up with wy..

gave up obs..darn ass, cant make way for that..damn..nvm i wan tat OBN.. :)
camps after camps, im starting to get sick of camps, playing the same stuffs :(

im trying to smell her ass, trying to break her ET timing..but unfortunately, im nowhere near..
why am i training so hard when i noe i cant even break her timing..
why am i training so hard when i noe im not improving..
why am i training so hard when i noe im not cut to be an athelete..
why am i training so hard when i dun see the achievement..
why am i training so hard when i dun see my goal, my target, my aim..

somehow, i dunno...
why am i doin all these..
i dunno
wo bu zhi dao

2008-03-21T20:18:00.002+08:00

im so damn bored can..walking up n down my house isnt fun at all :(
yoke working, leaving me n sis at hm..bored... :(
where's everyone..no one online that i could talk to, no one i could call to chat..
ahhhh!!!! im so damn bored luh..
when im bored and left with nothing to do, blogging comes in..
wanted to pack my study area buttttttt, too lazy n i gt so fugly many things that i dont know where to start..ass :@
wanted to go for a swim, but rain..ass asses assesess
tml's sat, im working, but alrite cos im with yoke..hahaha i miss ppl there :)
sun im so gonna die of boredom againnnnn..ahhhhhhhh, boredom's driving me crazy
wheres everyone???? save me from boredom luh....
gosh, i've watched one litre of tears for upteen times but it doesnt bore me out..its sucha nice show :)

ok, im dying of boredom :(

2008-03-20T22:04:00.002+08:00

OBS..im so darn interested when i got the call..but sadly, i gotta work my ass out on 1 apr and only 1 rep is allowed..so darn boring with only 1 rep... -_-

gotten my new specs..both sis say im clumsy, so i gotten 1 that suits me perfectly :)
ok, tch looks so nerdy with specs, but who cares..im a blind frog if im without my specs :( pls dun laugh at tch with specs..

wanted to move our legs down to satisfy my maximum satisfaction of great food, but last min change of mind, to ny instead :( there goes my crave for 1 month :(
was telling them, i think the next time im moving my ass down is 10 years down the road..LOL, they knows why..hahahahah..argh, im so darn looking forward to great dinner but ........nvm, ny was great too :)

major trucks of jokes n laughter at ny..yoke is suffering from "emotional illness" lol..we crack all sorts of stupid jokes and make our way out after 1 n half hours of laughing..

i've not been training for the past 1 week
somehow feel guilty, but i have no motivation to train..
swy is coming back!!! im so darn happy..was complaining to her ytd during msn and we just had minimum fun :)
she's coming to train on mon, but i somehow doesnt want to train, for no apparent reason...

im not prepared to take on leadership roles..

2008-03-19T23:37:00.002+08:00

waking up early is not my forte..nevertheless, down to sch to meet akid n the rest.. all stupid silly ideas up our mind when it comes to creativity..LOL, club crawl banner done..jinlong gave me a shocking news, i've no choice but to accept it.darn ass..im not cut to be leader

results out..passed but not satisfied :( GPA damn low...

water dripping from the sky is just an excuse for me not training..
i lost my passion in track..im quitting soon..real soon
with no motivation, no aim, no goal, i have no idea why am i doing tis and for what, am i doing tis..i've gt no idea

2008-03-18T23:39:00.002+08:00

leadership camp was strict but overall was alrites, just tat im shag energy level to the minimum..gangstarz are a group of loving people :)
all comers meet at ITE simei, first race for nyp but was dissappointed :( timing was way out of the target, dissapointment indeed :( rahman said im too scared,haha..really, im too scared..at the call room, rahman said "just go down to the blocks, close your eyes and focus, the moment the gun fires, open your eyes n off you go.." haha, the moment i was infront of the blocks, i know my mind was blank, i didnt kick off the blocks, i didnt go full force..i dont feel breathless after the race...whatever,im such a dissappointment :(
presidents challenge soccer tournament. nyp vs ite, nyp gt the title.. kudos!!! excitment was at the 2nd half of the match..kudos..
ok..i thought i wont be included but....whatever, i shall put in my best
im still suffering hangover from ltc camp..darn ass!!!

im missing SWY!!!
ass girl..when are u coming back!!!
zy, bon voyage!!

2008-03-12T22:40:00.002+08:00

anyway..liting spiced up my life ytd..adventurous day, from home to safra yishun then to ps then to novena then home..LOL..next will be hunting down to bugis cos its been how many donkey monkey years i've never been there..lol

raining has been an excuse for me not to train since the dae i gt back..
i've gt no mood, no motivation, no aim to train...

died..my passion for track died..dunno when, but it died..training todae was just purely doin what the coach ask me to..i've no aim in mind, just thinkin to cross over the finishing line...i've not tried blocks like how many donkey months, i've not even run a full race starting with a block and yet, im running this sun under 14.5 secs..whatever bull shit is that..how to run, i dunno..imagine i trip down and being a laughing stock after i start off from the block..

started training only like today..i nearly died doing 5 rounds in sch, with that stupid block nose of mine..200m X 3 under that stupid rain..gosh, im so shag after that,lol...ok tch is really unfit, shes knows :(

2008-03-07T22:17:00.007+08:00

tis post is lengthy, shoo off if it turns u off
back..fun-filling week for me..
left sg on 1 Mar at 7am for hk..the new hk airport terminal is so damn big luh.. we literally walked for 30mins from the plane to the arrival hall, no wonder theres shuttle tram along the way -_-

first day wasted although we reach hk at 2.30pm. from immigration counter to baggage collection to airport transfer to hotel took us fugly 4 hrs, even though the ride took us only less than 30mins!! gosh, waste of time...
wendy sis met us there and gosh, she starting her shoppin spree and bought 2 pair of heels even b4 we reach.. :( shoppin spree with godma n wendy sis, haha its gd shopping with them cos i need not pay!!! haha...

thanks to uncle weng and aunty cindy for bringing us around..ocean park was fun, that pathetic 45mins ride of cable car was .............. im freakin out there hahaha
oh ya oh ya...something caught my attention!!!! theres tis street somewhere at hk called the sports street.. the whole street is just adidas nike puma adidas nike adidas nike and theres limited edition nike shoes too..woooooo, i got myself a new nike shoe hahaha!!! oh gosh, if im rich enuff, i will buy all the nike stuffs there!!! LOL how i wish sg has 1 street as well, with all the nike n adidas n all sports brands there :)

3 nights at kimberly hotel and last night at disneyland hotel..total madness
disneyland hotel is uper duper nice and beautiful :))))
compared to the other hotel, gosh..heaven and earth
yl korkor keep saying high class ppl and middle class ppl.. hahahaha..the full-of-mickey hotel's rooms are so freaking small..the only thing that attracts tourist is the mickey design all over the hotel..LOL
disneyland hotel is much better, comfy and total shiokness
dinner at the lobby restaurant, that bowl of plain rice cost us freaking SGD 4 !!! gosh, its only plain rice...breakfast with the disney characters and off to airport..
gosh, we nearly miss the flight hahaha!! i rather miss the flight man, at least i get to stay 1 more day haha!!

back to sg and stayed at godma's hs...the 2 little imps are damn naughty and mischievious..but they are damn cute.imagine a 5 yr old kid saying: "daddy, i waited for the bus till my hair grows long.." LOL

argh, i didnt get to send my bf off..hopefully she enjoys herself there :))
take care bf wy!!!! i didnt forget ur gift!!!
only then i realise she has so many probs,hopefully i can help :)))

shes my dearest godmummy!!!

ppl keep saying we look alike, do we ?

this pic is so classic :))

we managed to take tis shot all thanks to me and yl kor kor..haha, its damn tiring can!!

i should have went to china shenzhen with wendy sis...its so much fun and better than being at hm, facing daddy who is angry with me for no apparent reason.. fuck him off, just tell me into my face for what mistake i did..im not ur venting target!!im feeling that im not close with them as it seems..can i choose who to stay with???

2008-02-28T23:07:00.002+08:00

last min work is tch's forte but unfortunately, i screw up everytime..
met up with px pj n py..bump into jerome and rui on the train..LOL..so much of a coincidence..bump into rui again at somerset..LOL..
watched "the eye" after lunch at taka..
nice..but sound effect was out to make me wet my pants..lol..home after movie..
pack my stuffs as soon as i gt hm..lots of things forgotten to pack..
shit, mummy keep scoldin me..argh,everytime sis pack for me luh..tis time round i needa pack myself, alamak!! hopefully i have what i need to have.. ARGH!!!!
ok,tml's advanced theory..dooms day tml cos i have not even touch the book cover!!!

dang, its so shitty today...pls save me from packing my stuffs!!
tch hate to pack stuff luh!!!!

2008-02-26T18:37:00.007+08:00

replenished my energy level to the max..
mummy's home..gosh, im so damn bored at home..
i haven been packing my stuffs for sat trip..whatever, on fri i will just dump sufficient clothes and off i go...

photos for track chalet '08

ok thats all i have :)
HK trip, camp, camp, camp..i seriously gt no time to work but i need to :(

2008-02-25T23:18:00.002+08:00

im lk a active zombie now..i should be dreaming now but i couldnt :(
track chalet was uper duper fun :) bbqing was well, but not all came..nevertheless, we had fun..drank and was on the verge of getting dead drunk..bro gave me lecture, but i was still awake..but anyways, sorry bro!! we made u worried :) philip gave us a scare, really scare..but its good to see him well with his bullshits..LOL
pool after breakfast..philip's hangover from last nite was to have parallex error..lol,he gt serious parrallex error luh dey :p

Wild Wild Wet was at the max!!!! super shiok, although theres only the pathetic 6 of us, we had lots of fun..tried samsung slide up, omgosh, its damn dumb to open my eyes and witness myself "committing suicide" LOL..my 2nd time making my way up to the bicycle ride..gosh, i nearly died there..i was complaining to jr and vice versa..haha..funnie!! one word to end -FUN!!

bused home and dang, i slept on the bus and woke up by my phone call, if not..i will be making my way to tpy...LOL
i tot i could continue my dream but nah, out again with sis n daddy..
im not trying to be racist or whatsoever..but tis really made me mad, i could have died of heart attack luh..ok, better not curse myself :p

and ya, as usual i took the front seat of the car, enjoying the nite life at bugis area..out of nowhere, came tis malaysia car taking the next lane of the road, skidding into our lane, and turning it back after realising the car was on roller coaster..the car skid to us, we skidded to the left so as to avoid..argh, if daddy wasnt alert, i wont be here blogging alr man..so daddy gt real mad, drove up to the car, saw an indian man who doesnt respond when we sounded the honk..so dad walk up to the car and knocked on the glass panel to signal him to the roadside.., he seems either drunk or sleepy or his in need of pills and doesnt know that the car took a roller coaster ride..daddy threaten to call the police for an breathanalyser test but forgo it..daddy gave me a super fierce scolding..haha..but seriously, he looks sleepy and probably could have dozed off w/o knowing..ARGH!! dad was furiously mad luh..i think dad would have rang up the police hotline if he didnt apologize and shoot back..whatever, i was quite awake aft tat..granny gt shock luh..

i think im lk dad,getting faces and eyes which is lk baboon ass when i drink ..mayb it wil be my last time drinking so much..
kevin wants to ban nyp track from drinking...

2008-02-23T23:33:00.002+08:00

met up with the gals..they are damn fun and interesting :)
abandoned 3.15 show but gt the 7.35pm show..so we roam ard ps cathay raffles city and paradiz centre and back to cathay..drop by robinson to look for wanyin :) saw hafiz and dan too :), he promise to meet up with us the next time we gt outings..LOL cos he saw 3 pathetic us hahaha..

anyway,kung-fu dunk was great..funnie and comedy..
out of randomness, we agreed on thurs again and tis time round, whoever cant make it last min will have to call for bill the next round!! LOL, all thanks to peijun..hahah
so peiyi n i make sure we are not the one footing the next bill..LOL
cam-whoring after the show when i saw this damn nice wallpaper..haha, bf messaged me to meet early tml,lol..1 cute and funnie person :) pang-seh me for www!! how can you!!

alrites, hope tml chalet is fun..if not, it gonna totally waste my trip down :(
hopefully, there are ppl coming and not tat pathetic few of us again, lk again!!
can i only let the ppl i wan to read my blog cos its lk............
ok i noe somehow no privacy in online blogs but..... i dun even noe whos reading my blog and wats worse, my enemies are reading it and soon, rumours will sink in.. typical gossipers!! -_-

2008-02-22T23:06:00.003+08:00

4 down..none to go..FINALLY..now awaits me will be FTT and HK trip..after all the fun fun fun will be waiting for supp papers..gosh, im so dead, deadly dead..POM was .....at least i know how to handle it.. :)

movie trip was postponed to tml..sorry people :(
we shal enjoy ourselves tml :)
it seems lk we are not tat close as it seems..im just a tool that cures boredom..so whenever u are bored and in need of me, u will come looking for me...if not, u wont bother to even say hello to me..how great to be ur fren..fren for so long and i knew ur true colours :(

anyways..it has never been mentioned that im the one and i have my rights of yes or no..whatever, its not ur prob :) hmmm i sounded harsh but nevertheless, i can be more harsh than tis.. wahahaha..whatever..
i feel uneasy with you ard, for no particular reason..i dunno why, wo bu zhi dao.. i just cant communicate with u..whatever it is, i cant talk to u..so pls, dun talk to me cos i dunno how to reject..

ok i cant stand it..i wan to change maid!!!! this maid is making me so annoyed!! spoilt my brand new jeans, then spoilt my levis shirt..WTF, its not as if shes first time working for us and yet..arggghh..fuck her off luh..i promise i dunwan to see her after 1 year!! aunty kris is soooo much better than her!!

ok im just crapping my way to cure boredom, cos i dun use my frens as a tool to cure boredom :) alrites, i give it a serious thought and i dunwan to let my frens down :)

2008-02-21T12:08:00.002+08:00

2 down..2 more to go..one of which is the worst paper..
stress resulted in pimples outbreak..crapppp

trained on wed..damn, easy workouts but difficult timings..i didnt get what i wanted :( wanyin understands..lol mayb lk someone said, train for urself, not for others..benefits will go into urself but not others...ok whatever..

its so stupid to wake up in the middle of the night, checking tat my teeths are still intact after dreaming that i lost 3 of my teeths are gone.. CRAP, im so dumb.. track chalet booked, quite randomly..on serious thought, im not sure if im going..i will be bored out :(

ok,i hope MR. AFA supp paper does not come running to me asking me to adopt him..i will die!!!! ok, i think im gonna flunk my AFA cos its just not my forte..haiz.
alrites, back to books..after this 4 days of war will be FTT and my long awaited HK trip, hopefully everythin goes well :)

DISGUSTED

2008-02-17T00:01:00.003+08:00

did self training - 40mins run.. :) aft tat was study study study...
dinner was filled with major trucks of laughter and jokes..there isn't peace whenever theres jinlong around..LOL..its just super uper funnie..

walk around and home is where we can go..IM JUST SO FUCKING DISGUSTED..
i was lk telling jinlong, y are we so damn unlucky!!! and whats worse, he sat beside me n open tat fucking bag to contain he's treasures again..OH FUCK FUCK FUCK..i could have filled his treasure bag with my sushis as well luh!!!!! oh fuck, i was so disgusterd and keep haunting jinlong for help..LOL

tolerance level kept me all the way to amk, oh god..im so uncomfortable now!!!
i could have wasted my money..ok whatever..i've never been so unlucky!!!!!!

ok...recalling what i did for past few days..
fri - just as we were packing up, coach gave workout, 200m X 10
gave self discount and did gym..dinner and tau huay for supper.. :)
kevin asked us for tau huay but last min cannot make it -_-

did speed training on wed..120m X 5 under 18s
they say im improving, but sadly im not :( its just that they didnt see the truth
ya..mayb he was right, too much oranges :(
i dun pin any hopes for the future alr..i just cant do any better :(

anyway..thanks xh for helping me tis days..
its productive and useful :) THANKS

2008-02-13T22:31:00.002+08:00

what have i been doing during since sem 1?
i have been doin what im suppose to but hahaha..not productive :(
i never tot im so lousy to the extent untill today..
i cant even keep in the time,only for once :(
i tried my best, but cant go beyond that..what happen luh..too much oranges? probably
training 120m X 5....nothing to say, im just so .....................
dinner then home..everyone choose macs over chinese restaurant.. :(

funnie jokes from seran and chen sihao..LOL the red shirt guy!!
lots of jokes today from training..oh crap..funnie!!!
disgusting fellas!!!

exams coming..not fully prepared, i need chen xiaohong's help!! u must make sure im ready to step into the exam hall!! LOL
for the first time, tch start preparing for exams early..hope i can get gd scores luh..oh ya, chose my elective modules, hopefully i get what i wan :)

aft exams will be fun fun and more fun :)

2008-02-11T23:00:00.000+08:00

ok cny over, exams coming..
down to mr. lionel's place on sat..andrea is so different when shes in sch :p
now i know what class spirit is :) from a 32 class peeps to a 6 pathetic soul..
anyways..charlene's hs is damn nice, great place for hide and seek..LOL,im sure gonna go charlene's hs again..naz, vanya, pj and py alrites? for another poker gambling session!!! LOL
charlene's parents are nice host :) lol
aft tat was lionel's place..his hs is damn crowded..yr 2s and grads and yr 1s..
left ard 6plus and home is where i can go aft lionel's place..

cny over..joy over..
exams and stress is piling up..revision revision and more revision..
ok..4 papers may seem short..but tch's brain cells are dying..LOL
self revision today and managed to train :)
tch will nv do self training on her accord during sec sch days..LOL
now tch is different!! hahahahas

i am satisfying my needs first then wants...
prioritizing..haha

2008-02-01T22:15:00.000+08:00

sch was zomg... tired is all i could say..
waking up at pathetic 7am and dragging my body to shower was tough..
dad expects me to be fully awake the moment he calls me..unbelievable :(

frontpage finally down!!! lk finally luh.. now can concentrate on exams alr.. :)
napfa tester again :( zomg tired..did self training today..4 rounds the track and some stretching. :) coach gave personal training schedule, damn ..............
lactate threshold training..LOL

i couldnt do anything but to watch u depressing...
i couldnt help you as a fren...
why do parents cant understand our feelings..
we didnt want it to happen either and you are there reprimanding us..
demanding a 2K from a 17 yr old son,
asking ur 17 yr old son to supply himself with hp and laptop..
y dun parents think abt it again...
would you really wan ur son to return you 2K and supply himself wth hp n laptop when he's schooling by working as a slave and neglect his studies or would you rather scold and nag at him, knowing that he realise his mistake and help him..
sometimes,parents dont understand their kid..work to repay them and neglect studies or the other way round..
he had to work and grant ur expectations..results will then deteoriate, then u are there to reprimand the kid again..

wheres to logic behind it..no logic at all!!!
whatever, on a happier note..
i wan do my last min shopping to get myself into CNY mood!!!
shopping spree..nice and cheap clothes pls....

2008-01-31T20:33:00.000+08:00

im suffering from "hangover" from ytd's training.. jelly legs and minimum energy level :(

all done.finally..
completed html project..all thanks to shiok and px.. lol, i think im the sleeping member luh..they were busy doin html while im beside them doin my AFA tutorial.. :(
sorry peeps :(

AFA tutorial.. at least i managed to listen attentively :) bdae celebration lk again :/ but its with the class tis time round.. :) fun and thanks to all who came, i really appreciated tat :) sorry jerome, i ps u 2dae.. :( was suppose to meet him to go for napfa test but i didnt.. :(

last hurdle - exams and im free :)
i somehow gt my schedule out alr..study train and study study..long run aft i study too much..hopefully tis goes smoothly :)
afa is the worst, i hope i dun fail.. AFA is much more worst than POA..shit from the bull..i hope i can clear this last hurdle..i wouldnt want to lag behind..training again tml :( 40mins long run..ard sch or stadium..whichever i dunno..just run with my eyes close

sometimes they just dun understand me..they nv give me a chance to say my opinion.. so sometimes i should just keep quiet and listen to what they say.. it would benefit everyone of us :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM!!! :)

2008-01-30T23:45:00.000+08:00

sch was fine eventhough its just a 50min revision lect..walked out of AFA revision lect and in to SIA cabin crew talk..hmm sounds interesting :)

someone told me tis aft AFA,"i tot u are a gal who doesnt speak vulgarities..but ytd was the FIRST time i view ur blog and im WELCOMED by vulgarities.." LOL
it shows that u dunno me well huh :) LOL

training today was the ultimate..ultimate of my life..
back in sec sch days, i have never cried infront of my coach..but coach Hosni made me do that today..i just literally cried infront of him..the "best friend" in my ass just seems to happy to be in my ass which made me teared..imagine tch running and crying at the same time.. :(
coach told me something which made me kinda awake.." CH, u've came so far..dont just stop at this point.." sounds true :)
lactic gone but whole body seems lk jelly or fish w/o bones..

aft training was bdae celebration for sam n lynn and thanksgiving as well.. FUN :)
coach still ask me " so how, legs ok rite.." ya crap.imagine a fish w/o bones walkin ard and tats me :)

the cake is just so freaking big!! but we managed to feed everyone with a BIG slice LOL..sorry jerome and rui and sihao, u guys didnt get the cake :(
dinner and home..everyone is just too tired to talk during dinner..for once, dinner was so solemn LOL

cny coming..exams coming..oh crap!!!

MARCUS TAN!! THIS IS FOR YOU!!!
im a pure and decent gal who doesnt speak vulgarities unless i really have to!!
and u "PROVOKED" me!! LOL, u @#&*^%$# @#$%&*&^%$#@ @#$%^&*&^%$#
LOL..no worries, im fren to whoever wans to be fren with me :)
i dun scold vulgarities luh..im a nic gal :)

2008-01-29T21:46:00.000+08:00

fuck you and cheebye is all i can say to you..
i regretted being a kind soul and help you..
u promised me the next day and what i get, nothing..
" i need more days" is what u could tell me..
fuck you, cheebye..
if i were a loanshark, i think u owe me more than triple of what u shld return me.. work work work is all u can say for not coming to sch but u work as free labour huh..tat pathetic amount cant return me...whatever shit izzit..im being an ass helping you...seeing u just pissed me off now..dun act as nth happen when u see me..i hate that!! u ass!!!

pardon my language..but im just sick and tired..
on a lighter note, sch was fine tis few days..
training was productive but it killed me..
at least i achieved pb for yr 2008...LOL
300, 200, 100 time trial.followed by 100m lunges + 50m high knees for 5 sets..

microeconomics presentation final down!! lk finally luh..left frontpage and im all into exams..im not in cny mood..for goodness sake, ppl playin mahjong, i play with my books..ASS

i gt my cny clothing somehow done..
but if i still cant find a suitable shoe tat attracts me, then i will just walk bare footed!! lol